It kinda hit me, out of the blue, about a week ago: there are a lot of complex parts to this move I’m making, and I’d been so focused on all those things I needed to do but hadn’t really thought much of the things I wanted to do.
I mean, hell, the idea here is that this move will be an indefinite one. I don’t plan on being back in six months or a year or—well, at this point, ever. I plan to visit, sure, but, beyond that . . .
So, yeah, here I am, in Montreal, and I gotta start thinking about what I wanna do in the city—knowing that this could very well be my last chance.
And there’s friends. One of my good friends will soon be moving to BC and, if and when I visit Canada, I’ll be headed to Ottawa, where my family is, or Montreal, where most of my friends are. I don’t see going to BC very often . . . meaning this could quite possibly be my last chance to spend any time face to face with this friend.
It’s an odd realization to have. On the one hand, it’s a tad overwhelming and puts some pressure on me to do these things and see these people. But, on the other hand, and somewhat counterintuitively, it tells me it is indeed the time to move on: I’ve begun to take this city and these friends for granted, behaving as though they’ll always be around, and this transition is reminding me to focus more attention on them, on these people I care about, to think in terms of how much they mean to me and what I want to experience with them before I go.
I should have been thinking this way throughout and always . . . but familiarity breeds complacency (see my last post on collecting memorable experiences). This move has forced me to look at this city and at these people with fresh eyes.
The list of things I need to do is long but growing shorter as I scratch tasks off one by one. I haven’t even made a list of those things I want to do. Maybe I shouldn’t. Those kinda things, they aren’t meant to be scratched off like chores, they’re meant to be enjoyed and appreciated.
But I gotta let this gestate a bit. I gotta think this through. I gotta come back to this . . .